i’m afraid to get too close anyone this year, because i’m leaving so soon.
A man came into work tonight that looked just like my dad when I looked fast.
I froze up, I couldn’t focus when I took his order, and I avoided eye contact.
And then I realized that I haven’t seen my dad in almost 9 years. How would I even know what he looks like? My idea is based on a very vague description and blurred details from memories that have practically faded away. It was so stupid of me to freak out the way I did… And then my manager told me that this same man looked exactly like her ex husband, and then I confessed at first, I thought it was my dad. It was so bizarre, and I couldn’t do anything except nervously laugh it off. It just got me thinking. A lot changes in 9 years. He could walk by me on the street every day, and I wouldn’t know. I honestly don’t think either one of us would recognize each other. And if even if one of us did recognize one another, would we even dare say anything?
It’s just one of those things that left my head spinning.
so yeah. these are the rest of my senior photos. we took 96 i guess all together, but here are more.
i was laughing in about 48 of all 96 of them.. basically every other photo.
but i’m happy with how they came out
:)
i normally have a lot more self control than tonight
i can hold everything in until i’m in the comfort of my own home.
i hate falling apart in front of people because i know it makes everyone uncomfortable. but i’m not as strong as i appear to be.
and not even my own mom answered my text after i blew up at her.
i just feel like almost no one truly cares. maybe like 1 person genuinely does. and i just don’t want to keep doing this. any of this. all of this.
is it too much to ask for to be happy?
i feel like i’m just convenient for everyone. i’m just here to hang with, here to laugh with. but no one actually cares.
i just feel like i give 99%, and get 1%, if that, back.
i just feel like i’m sinking.
